Scars and Souvenirs
by ClaraDA
Summary: MerDer fic
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This is my first fic ever. It's a MerDer fic.

My first language is not english so you'll probably find a large number of grammar and spelling mistakes.

Ok... enough with the talking...I hope you like my fic! :)

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As the alarm went off Meredith groaned, turned around in her bed and tried to muffle the sound with her pillow. Getting frustrated with the annoying alarm Meredith sat in her bed and turned it off. Now, she was fully awake and reluctant to start the day.

She allowed herself to stay a little longer in bed, enjoying the warm and cozy environment and thinking about her life. But, as her thoughts started to wander through dangerous paths Meredith shook her head, avoiding once again the unsolved issues in her life, and took courage to leave the bed.

It was only 4.15am and tiredness was consuming Meredith, but she had to go to work in early to cover for her friend, Christina. She was now regretting having accepted helping her friend. She had only had a couple hours of sleep and going to work was the last thing she wanted at the moment.

Leaving the bathroom and already dressed, Meredith wandered to the kitchen and prepared some coffee. Yeah… coffee was her magic tool these days. Being a surgeon wasn't easy. She liked to be in the field and to feel the adrenalin pumping through her veins at a critical moment and being able to save people and taking decisions, but it was a stressful job as she had to manage working long hours and being a mom.

Nicole. Nicole was Meredith's 4 year old daughter and, now, as she, slowly, entered her little girl's bedroom a smile graced her features. Watching her daughter sleeping had always made her smile and gave her strength to make it through the day.

Meredith walked to the dresser and took a robe, a pair of socks and prepared a small backpack with some essentials. Then, she walked to Nicole's bed and kneeled in front of her little girl. She spoiled herself for a moment and, brushing a strand of blonde hair out of the girl's face, watched her daughter's peaceful sleep.  
Remembering she had to go to work, Meredith picked her baby and sat with her, still asleep, in her lap as she dressed her with her robe and warm, fluffy socks.  
After making sure Nicole was warm enough, Meredith got up and held her, protectively, against her chest. She grabbed the backpack and left the bedroom.  
The light in the living room, startled Nicole and she opened her tired eyes, rubbing them with her hands.

'Mommy?' Nicole asked, unsure, as she looked to see where she was

'Shsh sweetie…Mommy has to go to work early today. I'm sorry baby. Sleep a little more, ok?' Meredith whispered at her daughter's ear and kissed her cheek. Nicole slowly nodded and let her head fall in her mommy's shoulder. In a minute she was again asleep and Meredith smiled content that at least her little girl could rest a little more, though she still felt horrible that she had to make her daughter spend so many hours at the hospital. She didn't want her to grow up in there like she had, but she had no other choice at the moment.

Grabbing her purse and her car keys Meredith looked around and sighed. Another day was about to start. She hugged her daughter closer to her, turned off the lights and opened the door, ready to face another day in her life.


	2. Chapter 2

Arriving at the hospital's parking lot, Meredith took her purse and Nicole's backpack and went to pick her from the car seat. It was cold outside so Meredith sprinted to the hospital entrance always making sure her little girl was covered enough.

As Meredith was waiting for the elevator Alex approached her and rested his hand on her lower back making her jump in surprise and turn to him.

'Alex! You scared me…' Alex chuckled and let his eyes fall to the sleeping girl in Meredith's arms

'What are you doing here so early?' Meredith rolled her eyes and pressed again on the elevator button getting tired of the weight in her arms

'Well it's an hospital you know… you come here whenever you're needed.' Meredith snapped as she hit the button furiously

'Hey… chill dude! You're gonna break the damn button' Meredith sighed and shifted the girl in her arms. Alex realised Meredith was having trouble with the weight of the girl and in an instant he walked closer to her and took the little girl in his arms.

'You didn't have to… but thanks' Meredith said with a thankful expression in her face

'Of course I didn't have, but you're tired and if I can prevent you from getting even more tired and kill our patients I'll do it… don't want you to get sued…' he said with a smirk

'Always the prince charming….' Meredith muttered with a smile on her face.  
'What?' Alex asked as he motioned for her to enter the elevator.

'Oh…Nothing, nothing I was only remarking about you being an oh so sweet gentleman' Alex rolled his eyes and rested his back against the elevator's wall.

As Meredith and Alex walked together with Nicole nurses shot them intrigued and jealous glances, but neither one of them seemed to give them importance and continued to walk.

'Where are you going to leave her?' Alex asked referring to Nicole

'The day care is closed for another 2 hours… I'll have to leave her on an on call room.' Meredith stated more to herself than to Alex. She approached him and made a gesture for him to pass Nicole to her arms

'What?' Alex asked walking a step back not letting her pick her daughter

'Give her to me… I'll leave her on an on call room' Meredith said confused as to why Alex wasn't letting her pick her little girl. Alex rolled his eyes.

'You serious?' Meredith sighed annoyed and looked at him questioning 'Dude come on… You think I walked all this way with her in my arms only to give her back to you without reaching the ending line? I already screwed my reputation, might as well carry her to an on call room.' Meredith smiled at his exaggerated tone and thanked him mentally knowing too well he didn't like many compliments in a short space of time.

'Is she going to be ok in there, alone?' Alex asked as he and Meredith made their way to the surgeries board.

'Yeah, she knows once she wakes up she has to ask one of the nurses to page me' Right at the moment hers and Alex's pagers went off… 'This has got to be a huge trauma… I'll change to my scrubs and meet you in 5 in the ER' Meredith said, already running to the locker room.

This was going to be a long day…


	3. Chapter 3

Derek Shepherd woke up with the sun shinning through his room. He groaned as he anticipated the events of his day. He looked at the clock. 8. 00 Am. He didn't have to get up for another hour so he turned to his side and chose to delay his stressful day for a while.

Derek was between a state of conscience and unconsciousness. His mind was clear as water and his body fully relaxed. Two more minutes and he would probably be totally asleep, but fate decided he wouldn't get anymore sleep that morning…

'Daddy! Daddy!' Derek's daughter, Madison, shouted happily as she ran into his bedroom and jumped to his bed 'Daddy, wake up!' Derek couldn't help but smile… his daughter was so full of life. Derek hugged her and started a tickling battle. Her laugh was contagious. If he could, he would spend hours hearing her laugh and watching her smile. 'Daddy! Stooop! Daddy! Daddy, please!'

'Okok…' Derek said grinning as he kissed her forehead. 'How's my princess today?'

'Good!' Madison laughed 'When are we going daddy?' Derek sighed and looked at his watch.

'We're going soon… our plane leaves at 2 pm' Madison crawled closer to Derek and sat in his lap turned to him, letting her daddy embrace her and comfort her.

'Is it pretty there?' she asked with excitement and a hint of sadness in her voice.

'It is… you're going to like it. And there are ferryboats…' he stated in an enthusiastic tone.

'And Uncle Mark!' she remembered happily. Derek smiled and kissed his daughter. She was obviously excited about moving to another place. Normally a child would worry about everything… about the toys, the family, the friends, but Madison wasn't like the other kids she was mature for her young age of 4 and always surprised her daddy with her strength and comprehension.

'And Uncle Mark… Now come on, go get dressed into the outfit daddy left on the couch while I prepare breakfast, ok?' Madison nodded and ran to the living room only to run back into Derek's room, jump in his lap, kiss him and say those words that always made his heart swell with pride. Those words that meant everything to him and gave him what he needed to make it through the day… 'I love you too Maddie…' he whispered as she already had run to get ready.

After running to get the last things packed and after checking the house one last time, Derek and Madison were now at the airport saying goodbye to their New York family. Madison was too silent and trying to remain strong, but she was only a child and her strength had limits. Soon tears started to escape from her eyes. Derek's sister, Nancy, signaled to him to look at Madison. When he turned around and saw her bloodshot eyes and the tears of fear and sadness Derek went pale. In an instant he scooped his shaking little girl in his arms, started to whisper comforting words at her ears and rocking her in his arms. This seemed to upset the little girl even more as it gave her the feeling she would never come back to see her family and soon her whimpers turned into loud cries. The family gathered around her and looked apologetically at Derek who was now wondering if moving to Seattle was the best decision. He wanted to run away from his problems, forget events from his past and start a new life. Both he and his daughter were excited to move to Seattle. Or so he thought…

'Maddie sweetie…' Nancy said trying to get the little girl's attention, but to no avail. 'Maddie come on honey look at me…' Madison turned her head to the other side in order to hide from her aunt, but Nancy persisted. 'Maddie you want to tell me what's bothering you sweetie?' Nancy asked with a sweet and soothing voice. Derek looked desperate at his sister and she gave him a tiny smile trying to reassure him. 'Maddie…' Madison gave up and looked at her aunt. Her crying was starting to fade due the exhaustion but the tears and the whimpers were still there. 'What's wrong baby?' The little girl stretched her arms to be picked up by her aunt. Nancy held her in her arms and as Derek was previously doing, she started to rock her in her arms and to kiss her over and over as if trying to ease her pain. From a certain distance Derek, his mother and his other sisters were watching the interaction between Nancy and Madison not knowing if they should approach or give Nancy a try.

'I…I'm g-goiing t-to miiiss you…' Maddie whimpered. Nancy sighed and looked down at the girl in her lap.

'Honey…you're going to enjoy it in Seattle. You'll live with daddy you'll meet new friends and visit new places… it'll be fun!' Nancy said in a reassuring voice. Just as she finished saying that Emma, Derek's youngest sister joined them and pushed Maddie to her lap.

'What's wrong beautiful Maddie?' asked Emma kissing Madison and showing her a sweet smile.

'She says she's going to miss us…' Nancy answered without taking her eyes from her niece.

'Come on gorgeous… we'll be there to visit and you'll be here to visit us too! And besides… you'll get to be near Uncle Mark!' Emma said in an exaggerated tone and a huge smile on her face 'How cool is that?' Madison looked at them unsure and then showed them a tiny smile and hugged them both.

'Now that's better. We want you to keep that smile on your face always! You hear us?' Madison nodded and fought back some more tears.

'Come on baby… go to daddy. It's time to go now. It'll be ok. I promise.' Emma said as she helped the girl down and watched her walk slowly to the rest of the family to some last kisses and then to Derek who picked her up and walked through the gates ready to start a new life with his little princess.


	4. Chapter 4

Madison had slept through the entire flight which Derek was thankful for. He took that time to think about his expectations about his new life.  
Their moving to Seattle had started to be prepared a year ago. Derek wanted everything to be prepared calmly and he also wanted his little girl to get accustomed to the idea so she didn't have to suffer a sudden change. He had flown to Seattle 7 months ago to search for a house, but ended up deciding he would buy a land and build a house, instead. Now, everything was ready for them to move. The house was finished and fully decorated, he had found a new job at a great teaching hospital that had a great daycare for Madison and he had already searched for some schools for when it was the time for him to enroll Madison in one. Everything was ready for him and Madison. Everything was settled… the path was clear for them to start a perfect new life.

'Daddy?' Madison asked from her car seat. Derek looked at her from the rear view mirror and smiled warmly at her.

'What, baby?' He asked focusing again on the road

'Where are we going now? Can we get ice cream? And can we go to the park? Please daddy… can we go to the park?' Madison asked with great enthusiasm, feeling a little more secure about the moving. Derek chuckled at her. His little girl was back.

'Daddy needs to go to his new work to fill some papers.' Madison sighed and rested her head on the window, her smile fading. 'I'm sorry baby… It'll be quick and then we can go buy ice cream and pizza and we'll get to know our new house.' Derek said tentatively

'Really? Pizza?' A smile lit up in Maddie's face.

'Yeah… but just this once so don't get used to it.' Madison rolled her eyes and smiled. Her daddy always made her eat those green stuff and all sort of healthy foods and rarely let her touch the tasty foods she loved. She was happy… she had to go to the hospital, again, but she would get to eat what she wanted and she was going to see her new house for the first time and probably would get to see her uncle Mark on the hospital so it wouldn't be so bad after all…

'Fine… Can we go and see uncle Mark, though?' She asked hopefully.

'If he isn't in surgery we'll go and see him.' Derek rolled his eyes 'I don't know what you like so much in your uncle Mark…' Derek chuckled.

'Uncle Mark is pretty!' She stated.

'What! Are you trying to tell me I'm not pretty?' Derek asked pretending to be offended though Madison knew he wasn't.

'Yeah…! Uncle Mark is prettier and he gives me cookies instead of the yucky thingy you make me eat!' Madison chuckled and looked at Derek with defiant eyes.

'Ah… so now you're blaming me for trying to keep you healthy. Come on… muesli isn't that bad…' Madison smiled sweetly at him and threw her tongue out at him.

'Cookies are healthy daddy!' Madison exclaimed.

'yeah? Says who?'

'Uncle Mark says… and the commercials say it too! It's nut-nutritive' Derek laughed at her expression and at the big word she was trying to use.

'Uncle Mark doesn't know what he says.'

'Yes he does! Uncle Mark is smart…' She stated

'And I'm not?' he asked looking at Madison's annoyed face through the mirror.

'You are too… but uncle mark is more. He is uncle Mark!' She laughed at her daddy's silliness. Uncle Mark was a hero… how come her daddy didn't realize that?

'And I am your daddy… shouldn't that count on my favor?' Derek said as he pulled the car on the parking lot and turned to look at his daughter

'Maybe… but I'm just a kid. I'm growing and I exercise so I can eat the yummy food!' Derek laughed and went to help his daughter out of the car. He was about to enter his new working place and he had a great feeling about it…


	5. Chapter 5

After reassuring Maddie that he would be back to pick her up from daycare as soon as he could and after promising her that after his meeting they would go and find Mark, Derek followed the receptionist to the chief's office and was currently waiting to be called inside.

Meanwhile, at the daycare, Madison was making some new friends and was happily playing with them when she spotted a girl, alone, across the room, playing with a doll.

'Come play with us Maddie!' but Madison didn't listen to what the other kids were saying and started to walk to where the other girl was.

'Hi!' said Maddie cheerfully

'Hey…' the girl looked from her doll to Maddie and smiled at her

'I'm Madison Shepherd, but you can call me Maddie. I'm new here… My daddy is a doctor.' Madison sat next to the girl who was looking at her with a sweet smile on her face.

'I'm Nicole Grey. My mommy is a doctor here too… Wanna be my friend?' Madison grinned at Nicole and nodded as she sat next to her new friend. 'What does your daddy do? My mommy fixes people's brains!' said Nicole as she handed her doll to Madison

'My daddy fixes brains too!' replied Madison excitedly 'When I lived in New York my auntie Nancy used to take me to see some of daddy's surgeries up from the gallery, then he would get so mad at auntie Nancy.' Madison laughed and brushed the doll's hair as Nicole listened intently 'Have you ever seen a surgery?'

'No… mommy says it's not for little girls like me, but auntie Izzie has taken me to see the babies, but I can't say to anyone because then she would be in trouble…' Nicole explained with a smile as she prepared the tea for her Madison and the doll.

'Daddy never took me to see the babies…' Madison stated

'Well… I can ask aunt Izzie to take us there if you want…' Maddie nodded enthusiastically and smiled widely at Nicole. 'Do you have a sister?' Nicole asked curiously

'No. Do you?' Nicole shook her head no and took the doll in her arms. 'Do you like to live here?' Nicole thought for awhile about the subject and finally nodded

'Yes… I don't like the rain though and I don't like to be many, many hours at the hospital' Madison nodded exaggeratedly, agreeing with Nicole on that aspect '… but I like auntie Chris, auntie Izzie, auntie Bailey, uncle Alex and uncle George… they're not my aunties and uncles for real but mommy says they are our family and that the only thing that matters it's our heart, so if I love them and want them to be my family they get to be my family.' Madison nodded

'That makes sense…' she said drinking the tea and serving the cake always with a warm and friendly smile on her face. "My family is in New York… I have lots of aunts uncles and cousins there… but my uncle Mark is here. He's a doctor too and he makes people prettier." Nicole smiled. From that moment on a, surprisingly, strong bond was created between the girls.

An hour later and after agreeing with the chief he was good to start Monday, Derek entered the daycare only to find his daughter playing happily and laughing with a beautiful little girl about her age. That made Derek happy. Two hours had passed and his daughter had already found a friend. As he approached the two playing girls a smile grown on his face as he though that things were running better than he thought they would.

'Maddie…' Derek called from a short distance. Madison turned her head, gasped and immediately ran to her father.

'Daddy! I missed you!' she said hugging Derek tight

'Yeah? Because I don't think you realized how long it took.' Derek kissed Maddie's cheek and hugged her. 'Hmm… and I see you found a friend.' Derek said smiling to Nicole who smiled back at him.

'Yes! Nicole's mommy works here too and she also fixes people's brains!' Said Maddie mimicking which made Derek laugh

'Hi Nicole! I'm Derek. How are you?' he asked with a gentle smile

'Hi Dr Derek… I'm good thank you and how are you?' asked Nicole politely with a sweet smile

'I'm good too. Thank you, Nicole. Hey… and you can call me Derek if you want…' Nicole giggled and nodded.

'Daddy?' asked Madison in a whisper. 'Can Nicole come with us, please?' asked Maddie in a pleading tone and making her best puppy dog eyes… Derek didn't feel like telling her no, but they had just arrived, she had just met the girl and he didn't know her parents so there was no way he could ask them…

'Sweetie… maybe another time since today is our first day here and besides we are going to see uncle Mark now…' Derek said

'Daddy… but Nicole could come too… please!' pleaded Maddie

'Maddie… I don't even know Nicole's mommy so how can I ask her?' Derek reasoned. Right at that moment Meredith entered the daycare and both Maddie and Derek watched as Nicole ran to a woman's arms. Derek was smiling at how cute the little girl was that he didn't even realize that she was telling Meredith about her day and was obviously talking about him and Madison as she was pointing towards them and Meredith was now looking at Derek with interest.

'Hi…' said Meredith looking in Derek's eyes. His eyes were kind, gentle and showed a bit of sadness. Meredith couldn't help but stare into them they were like a magnet… Derek smiled at her trying to hide the excitement he was feeling. Meredith was a gorgeous woman. Blonde hair, slim body, delicate features, beautiful eyes…. Derek couldn't help but feel attracted to her.

'Hi. I'm Derek Shepherd, Madison's father.' Replied Derek with his Mc Dreamy smile and making Meredith's heart rate speed up.

'I'm Meredith Grey, Nicole's mother.' Meredith said with a smile before kneeling in front of Madison. 'So you must be Madison…' Meredith smiled tenderly and Maddie nodded 'Nice to meet you sweetie. I'm Meredith Nicole's mommy…' Derek was speechless. Meredith was beautiful, had such a delicate and maternal instinct and looked so natural, so pure to him he wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug, but at the same time he was feeling guilty. She was probably married and there he was dreaming about her…. Little did he know that she was thinking exactly the same thing… Their thoughts were interrupted as Meredith pager went off. Nicole frowned and realized she wasn't going home anytime soon.

'Is it a 911?' Derek asked noticing Nicole's frown and Meredith's guilty expression.

'Yes. I'm sorry hmm… Derek I have to go. Sweetie I'm sorry… I'll come as soon as I can ok? Bye Maddie!' Nicole nodded slowly and looked at the floor. Derek felt sorry for the little girl though he understood perfectly Meredith's position. He looked at his watch. 6.25 p.m… it was late…

'Meredith?' he called making her turn around and look at him 'Maybe I can take Nicole home with me… I mean… the girls they obviously go along pretty good and it's Maddie's first day here maybe that would help her. It's a win win situation…. You win and the girls win.' Meredith thought for a second, looked at the girls excited face and then nodded

'Okay… Thank you so much Derek. Seriously...' Derek nodded and smiled his Mc Dreamy smile… 'Could you leave your address at the nurse's station and I'll pick Nicole later?' Derek nodded again and smiled as he watched Meredith ran and heard the girls' happiness. Yeah… his life was about to change and he didn't know yet how much of a change it would be…


	6. Chapter 6

Guys, I'm so so sorry for the long wait...  
I've been so busy that I totally forgot I had this fic...

Anyway... here's another chapter and once again, Sorry for the long wait.

(Check my profile to see the siggy for this fic)

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Later that day, Meredith walked to the locker room so she could change to her street clothes.

'Shit!...' – Meredith said as she glanced at the clock. It was 11:12 p.m.. Suddenly she felt guilty as she remembered Derek had her daughter with him and he was probably tired and still up, waiting for her to pick Nicole so he could go to sleep. Also she felt she was making her little girl go through what she had gone through when she was a little girl herself. She remembered spending days and nights at the hospital and going home with everyone except with her mother. She thought how sad she always was for the lack of time her mom had for her and she desperately didn't want Nicole to feel the same, but she knew she was failing miserably and even though she tried hard, being a single mom and a surgeon was taking a toll on her.

'Olivia?' – Meredith called nurse Olivia who was at the nurse's station pilling some charts.

'Yes Dr. Grey?'

'Is there any message for me? A post it, maybe, with an adress?' – Meredith asked as she flipped open her cell phone and checked for new calls.

'Let me just check...' – Meredith nodded and tapped her fingers beating herself mentally for abusing of Derek's generosity. – 'Here Dr. Grey. It seems Dr. Shepperd left this for you...' – Meredith took the small paper in her hands and smiled at Olivia.

'Thank you, Olivia.' – Meredith thanked her, already walking to the exit.

Half an hour later Meredith parked her car. She stepped out of it and looked at the beautiful place around her. From that land Meredith had the perfect view of Seattle, she took it all in and then walked to the huge and beautiful house. She was so mesmerized, looking at the lake at the other end of the land that she didn't even notice when Derek opened the door.

'Meredith.' – Derek said softly.  
'Oh. Derek... I'm so so terribly sorry.' – Derek shook his head.

'It's not a problem Meredith.' – Derek smiled, inviting Meredith inside.

'You must be tired and you've been caught for almost five hours with Nicole. I'm so sorry... I should have sent someone to pick her up. It's just I was so busy that I didn't even think about it... I'm so sorry Derek.' – Derek had a huge grin on his face. He found it extremely adorable that Meredith was rambling. – 'You're laughing at me...' – Meredith stated.

'I'm sorry...' – Derek grinned. – 'You were rambling...'

'Oh... ' – Meredith blushed. – 'Crap...' – she hissed.

'I thought it was cute, actually.' – Derek smiled as Meredith once again blushed, and led her to the living room. – 'And Meredith? It was a pleasure having Nicole with us today. As I said before, it's no trouble at all.' – Derek smiled warmly, making Meredith relax instantly. – 'The girls are in Maddie's playroom, wanna come with me, or would you rather wait her?' – Meredith motioned she would go with him and, smiling and followed Derek who took every oportunity to take glances at Meredith's gorgeous features and perfectly shaped body.

'Your wife must be so pissed at me!' – Meredith stated jokingly. Derek sighed and shook his head.

'Not exactly... I'm not married...' – Derek stated not visibly bothered by the subject.

'Oh, I'm sorry...' – Meredith smiled to herself a little. 'Seriously, Meredith?! You don't even know the guy! Maybe he had some rough divorce. You can't be happy about that! You can't fall for him!' Meredith thought as she bit her lip and tried not to stare at him.

'It's okay, really.' – Derek smiled warmly at her and that was enough for Meredith to melt.

Suddenly Derek stopped walking and opened a door.

'Nicole your mommy's here...' – Derek said, letting Meredith enter the room before he did.

'Mommy!' – Nicole cried in delight as she saw her mommy.

'Hey baby!' – Meredith giggled and caught her little girl in her arms.

By the door Derek was enjoying watching the interaction between mother and daughter. Nicole, obviously, had Meredith wrapped around her little finger. He spotted the light in Meredith's eyes as the little girl started to tell her about her day and how much fun she had had with Maddie and him. Derek's smile faded a little as his stare drifted to his little girl who was, too, watching the scene. He knew his little girl wanted nothing more than having a mommy. She was always an happy and energic little girl, but he knew her wish was to have a mommy and, looking at her frowning face, he knew it was hurting her to watch her new friend and her mommy interact as they both had a great bond and Meredith, without a doubt, was a perfectly beautiful, nurturing and attentive mommy. She was everything Maddie wished for.  
Derek approached his daughter and took her in his arms.

'I want a mommy, daddy...' – Maddie whispered almost inaudibly as she rested her little face on her daddy's shoulder.

'I know Maddie. Daddy knows...' – Derek rocked her and continued to watch as Meredith and Nicole interacted. He smiled as Nicole tickled Meredith and she let out a beautiful, the most beautiful, giggle he had ever heard. He watched as Meredith scooped her little girl in her arms, kissed her all over her little face, and got on her feet approaching Derek and Maddie holding Nicole's hand. Just then she realized Derek had been staring at her and she blushed. Being caught in the act, Derek smiled and started to, slowly, rock Maddie in his arms.

'Is everything okay with her?' – Meredith asked, her voice showing great concern, as she pointed to Maddie, in Derek's arms who was silently crying in her daddy's shoulder. Derek nodded, smiling sadly.

'Nicole your backpack is in the living room you can go get it...' - Derek said to the little girl, caressing her little face. Both Derek and Meredith watched as she ran to the living room...

'Are you sure she's okay?' – Meredith asked, concerned. Derek smiled softly... Meredith really was a very nurturing person... – 'Does she need anything? I can go get it...' – Meredith offered.

'It'll pass, don't worry. It's just...' – Derek paused. - '...you and Nicole interacting... something she wants and can't have...' – Meredith understood what he meant. She faced the same problem with Nicole sometimes... She really knew what Derek and Maddie were going through and smiled apologetically at Derek, who smiled back at her, reassuring her that everything was okay.

'Mommy I'm ready!' – Nicole came running to her mommy and after saying bye they both turned to leave. Nicole ran to her mommy's car while Meredith stopped midway and walked back to Derek and Maddie.

'Did you forget something?' – Derek asked, looking at Meredith questioningly. Meredith didn't answer. She approach them and caressed Maddie's back soothingly. Derek wasn't expecting Meredith would come back for his daughter and felt warm inside as he took in all Meredith's beauty, not only the exterior but also the interior.

'You're a very strong little girl, Maddie. Nicole loves you so much already... Thank you for inviting her, sweetie.' – Meredith whispered sweetly at Maddie's ear and kissed her cheek before wiping her tears away. – 'Don't cry sweetie. Everything will be okay.' – With that Maddie reached for Meredith and hugged her tightly before asking for her daddy again. Derek was totally at a loss of words and positively taken aback with Meredith's attitude. Her husband had to be a lucky guy, he thought... Meredith smiled at both of them and once again turned to leave.

'Meredith!' – Derek called, making Meredith turn around. – 'Thank you.' – Meredith smiled.

'Thank you, Derek...' – And with that she walked to her car, ready to take her daughter home.


	7. Chapter 7

So guys... here is another chapter for my fic.

Hope you'll like it.

Thanks for all your reviews so far :)

Without further do... Scars and Souvenirs, chapter 7:

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'Nicky we're home sweetie.' – Meredith said, trying to make her sleeping daughter wake, as she stopped the car. Meredith turned around in her seat and, gently, shook Nicole's leg.

'Mommy...' – Nicole mumbled, opening her tired eyes just enough to see where she was.

'Yeah sweetie. Mommy needs you to wake up.' – Nicole closed her eyes again and fell back into sleep. Meredith looked at the clock in the car which read 00.53 am. – 'No wonder you're this sleepy...' – Meredith sighed.

As Meredith had many things to carry into the house she quickly got up from the driver's seat and opened the trunk from where she took a few bags. She then locked the car and sprinted to her house, unlocking the door and putting the bags inside, by the door. Then she quickly returned to the car, unlocked the door and, as quietly as she could, lifted Nicole in her arms.

'Mommy...' – Nicole mumbled again.

'I know sweetie... mommy's going to put you to bed, shsh...' – Meredith said in a warm tone of voice.

Making her way upstairs and entering her daughter's room, Meredith, quickly and with expertize, changed her little girl from her street wear to her pajamas.

Just as she was about to pick her up again so she could open the bed to put her under the covers, Meredith heard a knock on the door and turned around.

'Hey Mer.'

'Hey. I'm sorry... did I wake you?' – Meredith whispered.

'No, not at all. There was a huge trauma so George and Alex had to leave for the hospital and I woke up with them, then I heard you come home...' – Meredith nodded to Izzie's explanation. – 'Do you need help with her?' – Izzie asked.

'No, it's okay Izz... I've got it. Thank you.' – Meredith smiled and after kissing Nicole goodnight she left the room with Izzie, who also went to kiss Nicole, right behind.

'So... have you met the new neuro-surgeon?' – Izzie asked Meredith as she entered her bedroom and sat on Meredith's bed, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom and reply.

'I didn't really have the chance.' – Meredith said as she walked out of the bathroom in her pajamas and entered her bedroom.

'You totally have to meet him, Mer! He's so hot!' – Meredith rolled her eyes and let herself fall on the bed. Izzie turned to look at Meredith.

'I think he'd be good for you Mer...' – Izzie stated, making Meredith groan and roll her eyes again.

'Izz... seriously? This conversation again?!' – Meredith started...

'I'm serious Mer! He's hot, he has the best smile ever and he also has a daughter and he isn't married Mer!' – Izzie cheered. Suddenly Meredith remember Derek. 'Were they the same person? No... it's not possible...' She thought

'Izzie just drop it.' – Meredith pleaded.

'Come on Mer! Ever since he...' – Izzie was interrupted by Meredith.

'Don't!' – Meredith got up and stared angry at Izzie.

'Mer, face it! It's true that ever sin-'

'DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!' – Meredith started to breath harder and harder and immediatly Izzie felt guilt pump through her veins.

'Mer I'm sorry, Mer...' – Izzie approached Meredith who was against the wall on the verge of a panick attack.

'Do... do... Not! Do not… do not finish. Dddo nooot...' – Meredith breathing was becoming more irregular by the second.

'Sh, sh, Mer. I won't, Mer. Look at me.' – It wasn't working Meredith was hyperventilating. – 'Mer focus on me! Mer! Mer you're gonna pass out if you don't calm down! MER!'- Izzie tried to get her attention, but to no avail...

'Mommy!...' – Izzie hadn't noticed that Nicole had entered the room and now the little girl was clinging to Meredith and crying, scared to see her mommy in such state.

'Nicole go to the living room.' – Izzie said calmly.

'No! I wan't mommy! What's wrong with my mommy!' – Nicole cried as she saw her mommy, clutching to her chest and gasping for each breath.

'Nicky, auntie Izzie will make mommy better, okay? Just bring the phone to me!' – Izzie said in a rush. Moments later Nicole came back running with the phone in her hands and crying louder. Izzie dialed a number quickly and held Meredith's hand.

'Hello'

'George it's me.'

'What's wrong? Why is Nicky crying? Somethin' wrong?' – George asked, hearing the commotion at the other end of the line.

'It's Mer, she's having a panick attack and I can't get her to focus on me... Send me an ambulance.'

'I'm on it Izz...' – Izzie waited for George to give her feedback about the ambulance.

'MER! MER!... UP MER ! Come on Mer...' – Izzie let go of the phone and rushed to Meredith checking for a pulse on Meredith's neck.

'MOOOMMY!!!!' – Nicole was crying histerically and Izzie couldn't do nothing to help her... now the priority was Meredith. She grabbed the phone.

'IZZ! IZZIE!' – George shouted through the phone.

'George, fast please. Meredith just fainted I can barely find a pulse and Nicole is going into a panick attack herself...' – Izzie shouted to the phone.

'They'll be there in two Izz.' – Izz hang up the call and tended to Mer.

'Nicky you have to be strong now for mommy and me sweetie! Go grab mommy's purse really quickly. We're going to the hospital!' – Izzie said trying to sound the most calm she could. When Nicole didn't move Izzie got up herself and ran to get Mer's purse, leaving an unconscious Mer and a histerically crying Nicole in the same room.

'Moooommy! Wake u-up m-mommy!' – Cried Nicole.

Moments later, the paramedics arrived and Izzie opened the door to let them in. In record time they managed to get Meredith in the ambulance and Izzie took Nicole in her arms, entering in the back of the ambulance with her.

Five minutes and they arrived at Seattle Grace and were met by no other than Derek Shepherd.

'What happened?' – Derek demanded, concerned, as he saw Izzie holding a crying Nicole and the paramedics gettin an uncouscious Meredith out of the ambulance.

'Derek!' – Nicole cried, making him go and pick her from Izzie's arms who was shocked to see they knew each other.

'What happened?' – Derek demanded as he wrapped Nicole in his arms and rushed inside the hospital with Izzie.

'Meredith had a panick attack, she... she's unconscious and she stopped breathing on her way here and we had to perform CPR...' – Hearin those words hurt Derek to an extent he didn't know was possible as he just knew Meredith for a couple of hours...

'It's okay Nicole... Mommy's going to be fine...' – Derek kissed her cheek and caressed her, trying to calm the scared child.

'P-promise?' – Nicole whimpered.

'I promise.' – Derek then passed Nicole to Izzie's arms again and rushed to the exam room to take care of Meredith, himself. He had just promised her little girl her mommy was going to be okay, he wouldn't let her down. He was going to make sure of that...


	8. Chapter 8

Here is chapter 8 for my fic, Scars and Souvenirs.

Hope you'll like it :)

And by the way... thank you so much for all your reviews. I'm sorry I couldn't reply to all of you, but I'm still grateful for them. No... seriously :)

* * *

'What happened?' – Derek asked as he entered the exam room, immediatly taking his stethoscope to hear Meredith's heart beat.

'Meredith Grey, female, 28 years old, presents with a panick attack, lost consiousness before we arrived, pulse was almost inexistent and we lost it during the ride here, we performed CPR for 3 minutes until we got a pulse.' – One of the paramedics explained as Derek, with his penlight, checked Meredith's pupils reaction.

'Ok people, I want a CBC, an EKG, an EEG, an MRI and an MRA. And I want it STAT!' – Derek informed the team of doctors that was working on Meredith's case.

'Dr. Shepherd I don't think all of these tests are necessary. It was a simple panick attack that caused Dr. Grey to hiperventilate which triggered the loss of counsciousness...' – One of the interns said.

'It could be, but I'm the best because I don't look only at the surface. If you want to improve you have to dig and in this case I want to make sure it wasn't any other thing that caused the episode...' – Derek replied before turning to leave.

Derek walked to the waiting area where Izzie was waiting with Nicole in her arms. The little girl was, still, obviously distressed and sobbing.

'Dr. Shepherd!' – Izzie called and walked to him. – 'Any news?' – She asked, rubbing Nicole's back.

'I sent her to make a battery of tests to make sure it wasn't nothing else than the hiperventilation that caused her to pass out.' – Derek replied calmly, glancing at Nicole's blank expression. – 'She's still unconscious, but I'll update you as soon as there are any news.' – Izzie nodded and kissed Nicole's cheek.

'Mommy's going to be okay Nicky...' – Izzie whispered to Nicole, trying to sooth her.

'Dr. Stevens what was Meredith doing when she had the panick attack?' – Derek asked.

'Oh...hmm...' – Izzie was taken aback with the question and didn't want to tell Derek as she knew Meredith wouldn't appreaciate it... – 'We were arguing...' – Izzie replied hoping Derek would take the hint and drop the subject.

'What about?' – Derek asked, becoming impatient.

'Dr. Shepherd you really should ask Meredith that...' – Derek nodded. He knew he didn't need that piece of information to the case, but he was interested to find out why.

'It's good to see you awake...' – Derek said, in a soft tone of voice and with a comforting smile, as soon as Meredith fluttered her eyes open and groaned.

'What's wrong?' – Meredith asked. Her voice raspy and with a tired expression.

'You had a panick attack at home...' – Derek started causing Meredith to nod, telling him she remembered.

'Aww...Why on earth am I so sore?' – Meredith asked to herself as she tried to move to her side.

'Your heart stopped. We had to use those beautiful life savers. How are those called?' – Derek said, trying to cheer her up a little.

'Paddles.' – Meredith rolled her eyes, with a grin on her face. – 'Wait... what are you doing at the hospital? Is this your first day? You better be good at whatever you do while I'm your patient!' – Meredith demanded, jokingly.

'I was supposed to start on Monday, but there was this huge trauma...' – Meredith nodded, confirming she knew about the trauma. – 'I was paged and right when I was ready to go home I see you and Nicole being rushed out of the ambulance...' – At the mention of Nicole Meredith started to panick.

'Is Nicole okay? Where is she? Something happened?' – Meredith asked, concern all over her features and movements.

'She's okay. She's with your roommate, Dr. Stevens...' – Derek replied taking hold of her hand to calm her down.

'Oh... Izzie, right...' – Meredith breathed in relief.

'And because you hurt my ego before, I must tell you... I'm the best neurosurgeon you'll ever see walk between this walls.' – Derek smiled with pride. Meredith started to laugh which Derek found cute to hear. – 'I have to tell... for someone I just met today you already managed to blow my ego twice! Why are you laughing?' – Derek asked trying to hide a smile, but failing completely.

'The best neuro surgeon that will ever walk between these walls...?' – Meredith giggled. – 'You exactly are you? And oh my... you really have a huge ego...' – Meredith giggled some more and Derek couldn't help but laugh along. Suddenly he felt the need to kiss her, but he couldn't... He didn't even know her. And her husband, or boyfriend as he didn't see any ring on her fingers. He couldn't do that, besides that could be his mind playing tricks. He was tired after all...

'I'm Derek Shepherd! And yeah I'm the best. You'll see... Who knows if I won't be saving your life one day.' – Derek grinned... Meredith rolled her eyes.

'When I need to use a wheelchair, my dear, you'll be the best neuro surgeon to walk between this walls... until then, I am the best!' – Derek looked at her dumbfounded, but amazed at the same time.

'Oh no you aren't... are you a neuro surgeon?' – Derek asked. Meredith nodded proudly. – 'Here I was thinking you belonged to the gyno squad... with those tiny innefectual fists....' – Derek mocked.

'You are sooo going to pay for that...' – Meredith said provocatively, yet smiling.

'Bring it on Grey!' – Derek winked at her, grinning.

'You're on for it Shep! You think you can handle it?' – Meredith furrowed her brows and looked at him dismissively.

'I'm the best Grey... I'm the best...' – Derek said in an exaggerated tone of voice.

'You're soo gonna lose it Shepherd...' – Meredith giggled and turned on her back to look at the door when she heard a familiar voice.

'Mommy!' – Cried Nicole in delight.

'Hey baby! I missed you! Come here!' – Meredith patted the bed for signaling for Nicole to climb with her.

'It's too big, mommy... I can't...' – Nicole said, getting frustrated as she couldn't climb to hug her mommy.

'Here... I'll help you.' – Derek got up from the other side of the bed where he was sat and went to Nicole. He picked her up and placed her nex to Meredith. – 'There you are...' – As soon as Nicole was next to her mommy she hugged her and cuddled with her.

'Where's auntie Izzie, Nicky?' – asked Meredith, kissing her little girl, as after a while no one followed Nicole into the room.

'Auntie Izzie said to enter alone 'cause she didn't want to dist-disturb.' – Meredith looked confused, but when her eyes catched Derek's it hit her what Izzie meant with those words. Meredith rolled her eyes and rubbed her little girl's back in a protective manner.

'I was scared, mommy...' – Nicole said while her little head was resting on Meredith's chest.

'Mommy's all better now, see? It's okay baby. I love you...' – Meredith said with a glow in her eyes.

'I love you too, mommy.' – Said Nicole closing her eyes and drifting into a peaceful slumber as she relaxed in her mommy's protective embrace...

'I should go now...' – Derek, who had been watching the scene, whispered smiling. Meredith nodded with a smile on her lips too. – 'Do you need me to call someone? Your husband? Boyfriend?' – asked Derek trying to get some tiny hint of information about Meredith. – 'Oh... maybe Izzie took care of that already... anyway I have to go because I have my friend, Mark, watching Nicole... I'll see you tomorrow Meredith. Get better and don't forget I'm the best!' – Derek said with a grin as he caressed Meredith's face with his hand not giving her time to reply to his previous question...

'You wish...' – Meredith giggled and, smiling, Derek turned to leave. – 'Goodnight Derek...' – Meredith whispered as he looked one more time at her before walking through the door.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you for all the reviews :)

Here is chapter 9 of Scars and Souvenirs

Hope you all will like it.

* * *

'So, Dr Stevens… how much do you enjoy life?' – Meredith asked as she kept flipping through the channels on the hospital televison. – 'This damn thing should have more channels…' – Meredith muttered to herself

'Hmm.. Mer?' – Izzie asked not understanding why Meredith was asking her something like that.

'Oh.. I'm just wondering you know… 'cause you're telling my daughter things that could lead to me and you pulling some hair to each other, you know…' – Meredith said trying to remain serious.

'Because I told Nicky I didn't want to disturb you and Dr. McHottie?' – Izzie grinned.

'You already have a nickname for him… seriously?' – Meredith couldn't help but grin.

'Well he is hot and you two were so into each other… I thought a bit of family time would do you some good.' – Izzie replied still with a smile.

'Izz…' – Meredith started.

'Oh my gosh, Mer! Can't you change the line for once? Enough with 'Izz just drop it already!' He could be good for you Mer. At least you could try…' – Izzie approached Meredith and glanced to see if Nicole was asleep. She was.

'Izz…' – Izzie rolled her eyes and lifted her two arms above her head.

'Fine… I give up.' – Meredith sighed in relief. – 'For now…' – Izzie laughed making Meredith glare at her.

'Don't wake her Izz…' – Meredith warned.

'Are you sure you're not interested in Dr. McHottie, Mer?' – Izzie laughed and jumped off the bed to skip from Meredith's shove.

'I'm not interested!' – Izzie looked at her with a knowing grin and nodded as if saying 'yeah right…' – 'I'm not!' – Meredith reinforced her position. - 'And stop calling him

McHottie!...' – Meredith said annoyed.

'Uhhh…. Jealous I see…' – Izzie laughed.

'Who's jealous?' – Asked Christina entering the room and glancing at both Meredith and Izzie before collapsing on a chair and resting her feet on Meredith's bed. – 'I need surgeries! I crave blood!' – Christina said over dramatically.

'You're weird you know that, right?' – Izzie said looking at her as if she was na alien. Meredith just laughed, being accostumed to Christina.

'Shut up barbie…' – Christina groaned.

'You so need to learn some social skills…' – Izzie muttered.

'Whatever…' – Christina said opening a medical journal. – 'So… who's jealous?' – Izzie grinned.

'No one!' – Meredith intervened before Izzie had a chance to babble her novel… Christina looked at her skeptically and then glanced at Izzie's 'stupid' grin as she put it.

'Ok… one of you start talking. If I can't have surgeries at least give me some gossip.' – Said Christina putting away the medical journal.

'Meredith is interested in McHottie…' – Izzie started.

'Mc who?...' – Asked Christina.

'I am not! And stop calling him that!' – Meredith groaned frustrated.

'Dr. Shepherd the new neuro surgeon…' – Christina nodded and waited for Izzie to continue. – 'He also has a daughter, he isn't married as far as I know he isn't dating no one… Nicole loves him…' – Meredith rolled her eyes.

'Nicole loves his daughter. They're friends…' – Christina and Izzie rolled her eyes. By the tone in Meredith's voice it was so obvious she was interested in him.

'Yeah… that's because you were unconscious when she saw him and called for him…' – Izzie stated making Meredith look at her curiously. – 'Oh yeah… and he was so sweet for her. He picked her up and comforted her. He'd be a good addition for you family Mer…' – Izzie grinned.

'Say whatever you want Izzie. I'm not interested in him!' – Both her friends glared at her. – 'I'm not! Seriously….' – Meredith blushed.

'You so are…' – Christina said matter of factly.

'I'm not…' – Meredith started. – 'Am I?...' – She whispered.

'Yep…' – Izzie and Christina nodded at her. Meredith groaned and let her head fall against the pillow… - 'You're so in for McHottie…' – Izzie grinned.

'Stop it!' – Meredith said. – 'McHottie doesn't fit…'

'McSmiley?' – Izzie asked.

'Nah…' – Christina and Meredith shook their heads.

'McSexy?' – Izzie offered.

'Nah…' – Christina and Meredith both shook their heads again.

'McYummy?' – Christina tried…

'McDreamy…' – Meredith said with a dreamy look and a foolish smile. Izzie and Christina both agreed and and looked at Meredith's expression.

'Mer you're scaring me…' – Christina said disgusted. – 'Too much loving in here… it's hard to breath…'

'Don't be mean, she's in love!' – Izzie scolded.

'Oh come on… stop being a pussy, barbie!' – Christina retorted.

'Would you two please stop! I'm here you know?' – Meredith shot them furious glances and looked down to make sure Nicole was still asleep. – 'I'm not in love. I'm not intererested! I'm Dr. Grey and he is Dr. Shepherd there is nothing and there will be nothing going on!' – Meredith finished.

'It's sad, really… She's in denial…' – Izzie commented. Meredith groaned again.

'Fifty bucks she'll do the McNasty with McDreamy?' – Christina said as if it was no big deal.

'I'm still here you know?!' – Meredith retorted. - 'Stop with the McDreamy thing!'

'What is McDreamy?' – Asked Derek entering Meredith's room and standing by the foot of the bed.

'Nothing!' – Meredith replied fast not giving room for Izzie or Christina to say a word. Derek looked between Izzie and Christina and got curious by their conspirative smiles.

'We should go...' – Izzie said signaling to Christina to follow her.

'Then go barbie. I'll stay…' – Christina said.

'No! You have to come… you know….' – Izzie shot her a death glare, but still she didn't understand.

'Why? It's fun here…' – Christina replied.

'You know…' – Izzie said exaggerating her tone of voice.

'Oooh! Yeah.. we should go…' – Christina said getting up and walking to the door. Meredith rolled her eyes. – 'Dr Bailey… she…' – Christina started.

'Yeah…' – Said Izzie. – 'Bye Mer, have fun!' – Izzie winked and walked out of the room.

'You have weird friends Meredith…' – Derek stated with a dreamy smile.

'Tell me about it…' – Meredith giggled getting lost in his stare for a few moments…

'So… who's McDreamy?' – Asked Derek after a while, trying to resist the urge to kiss Meredith.

'This is going to be a long day…' – Meredith thought as she groaned and closed her eyes.


End file.
